بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
Pronounced: Bis millah-i-rrahman-i-rraheem
Translation: In the name of God 'Allah' merciful & compassionate.
I am starting fresh with the world inside and around me. I think every day presents us with this fresh new start. Yesterday, whether good or bad, has finally passed. It will never come back as a clean new uncertain day even if you had a time machine. So why sweat over it?
Oh, but what about that pain it caused, those bad memories it left, missed opportunities and regrets? Well! Those were as real as this moment. They linger on, cling to our present self taking today a hostage, every day.
That is when we keep our eyes closed. It is because it feels safer, hiding with this pain or perhaps trying to hide the pain itself. Yes, we paddled too hard lost our balance and fell, took a wrong turn and met with a dead end, made a bad decision, trusted someone we shouldn't have or willingly hurt ourselves because we thought that is what we deserve or always get so why not do it ourselves.
But there is something else we are capable of doing - that is trying to get back up, all by ourselves or with some help.
Every new day presents itself with the opportunity to trace back your steps from that dead-end, pick up your bicycle and fix the chain if you can. May be text that someone who broke trust, tell them that it hurt you but you've learned your lesson on whom to trust. Perhaps forgive yourself for that interview call you missed and remind yourself that you need a tight hug, from yourself right now. So you can embrace it all and move ahead together.
By the way, I didn't know that this tiny little spark to write a blog post will go this long. And now I cannot stop. It feels amazing, once again. I had a few starters or snippets to share but not a full bucket of ice cream. And, no it isn't easy, even though I first fell in love with writing right when I was a kid and I didn't care much or understood the sense of achievement or success. It was just pure joy to write or paint or caligraph or pursue any hobby. I'm sure most of you ran towards your hobbies not really thinking that you would be great at it one day but just because it was fun.
For me, being able to pour thoughts down and try to tell a story is like making a big lego set or fly a perfect paperplane for several feet before it gracefully lands. It was and still is a beautiful feeling, nourishing energy. It enters your nostrils with a mild yet pleasant scent and fills you up making you feel so much lighter. I've been chasing that feeling ever since and it has always been right here, ready to be felt whenever I wanted and chose to feel it. But the question is, how long do we keep shooing away these puppies of joy or will we be ready to brace for impact, every day.
Let me tell you a secret real quick. Right after I started this blog post when I had just written down a few sentences this bloody self-doubt kicked in hard. It made me feel as if I am Russell Crowe right before entering the colosseum in Gladiator. Even for a few seconds or so, it hits you in the guts, tries hardest to stop you, making you feel afraid as if you have to impress a corrupt emperor and even if you do your hardest, you would still be fed to those hungry lions. But here I am taking down that puny impostor syndrome and telling you, it feels amazing. even though I feel like I've gotten sloppy, may have bruised myself and perhaps some of you laughed as I stumbled but what can I say, that's just the life of a gladiator. I'm pretty certain you are one too, with your very own arena and beasts to fight.
For some, it might feel this grand even when it is really simple. For others it might really be getting too damn difficult to survive on the streets. So my friends, readers, wonderful audience, let's help ourselves and one another in living at least one day at a time with hope and courage. Just go ahead and live another day to your fullest. Pull out that smile if you haven't yet. Think of that funny neighbourhood cat or that stranger who smiled on the bus. Tap into that beautiful energy you have stored inside you since forever. Allow yourself to start fresh, again, every single day.
I'm off to a wonderful new day, hoping you have one too.